Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

1 Peter 5:8

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3

A proposal is a sober minded review of all that’s happened, as well as a formalized expression of all concerns and positives. As well as expectations for the future.

Because the outcome of this meeting is whether the couple agree to marry, the meeting should be preceded by the father’s acceptance of the man’s request for the daughter’s hand in marriage.

This is concluded by a clear answer in three forms:

1. No - there are irreconcilable concerns that jeopardize a successful marriage together, and we don’t see a path towards resolution
2. Yes - there are concerns as usual, but they have been resolved by discussion, counseling, planning, or other problem solving methods that allows for a confident answer to be reached
3. Reschedule - not just a maybe, but a clear “not yet”, this could be to seek a specified number of counseling meetings, and then repeat the proposal meeting and see if the issue is resolved. Probably this should only be allowed to happen 1-3 times maximum, at which point it needs to just be a “no”

If “no”, there should be a 1-2 week deescalation period with counseling and mentors, mutual studying of the word, and prayer so that the unity of the body is maintained.

If “yes”, it’s recorded, and they are now engaged as far as phase or stage is concerned. Critically speaking, there needs to be a very significant level of confidence and trust and commitment at this point. There can’t be things overlooked or unresolved. It needs to be a very clear and solid “yes” or “no”. It can’t be “if this” or “probably”. This is functionally the bed rock of the marriage in terms of covenantal approach, minus the ceremony which publicizes the covenant before witnesses.

Then the man should plan a “public proposal” that broadcasts the new state of the relationship as well as intent, which both protects the couple in terms of it being in the light, but also so that hidden issues might be uncovered before marriage if they haven’t been already.